Phantom of Naruto
by LightBender
Summary: Akatsuki in tutus? A Sasuke, Hinata, Gaara threesome? Kankuro's Meg? Orochimaru's playing matchmaker? Tsunade's an ensemble boy? Neji's a seamstress? All this and more....
1. Chapter 1

**Try-Outs**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or The Phantom of the Opera. Do I look like a guy?

**AN: **This is what happens as a result of sugar and me and my editor. We take no faults for brain damage. R&R please!

* * *

"You all are probably wondering why you are here, right?" Tsunade asked.

"YES GRANNY TSUNADE!" Naruto screamed from the back of the auditorium.

"Why am I here?" Gaara asked his sister, who shushed him.

"This 'mission' is actually a PLAY!!!!!!!!!!" Tsunade said excitedly. "We must somehow entertain the representatives from the other countries and a play was the best choice. We shall be doing 'The Phantom of the Opera.' To help out, we have the Akatsuki and Sasuke. You can't kill them. That's an order. Akatsuki," she turned to the men in black and red clouded robes in the amazingly dark corner, "no fighting, understand?" She turned to Tenten, "No weapons! Sasuke, no sharingan! Hyugas, no Byakugan! Just, EVERYONE! No ninja! Jiraiya, no being perverted! Same goes for you, Kakashi." The two men snap their fingers in unison. "Asuma and Kurenai, if I hear any noises, you know what I'm talking about, you'll have to pay." The two blushed and looked away. "I think that's everything. Let's go to the auditions! Akatsuki, you're going now."

The men groaned as they got on stage. The opening bars of a song started on the piano. The men just stood there and glared at Tsunade, except for Tobi. Tobi started singing very off key to his own words.

"Tobi's a good boy! A good, good, good boy!" Itachi hit him over the head before he could go any further. All the Akatsuki began beating Tobi up.

"This is why you're a Akatsuki wannabe!" Kisame yelled, in perfect time to the music.

Itachi shouts, "We should have never chosen him!" He's right on key.

"Can I make him a puppet?" Sasori sings. All the rest on stage, pause and look at Sasori. "Sorry! My grandmamma put me in the choir!"

"Perfect! You're the ballet girls—I mean, boys!" Tsunade shouts.

"Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi shouts from the ground. Zetsu punches him. Hard.

"Stop beating poor, cute, little Tobi up!" Tsunade shouted over the laughter. She thought of him as a little kid being bullied. "Come over here, little Tobi! I'll fix you up!"

"Tobi's a good boy!" he said as he walked over, cradling his head. Tsunade started babying him, before Itachi yelled.

"He's a grown man! He should be able to care for himself! Tobi, stop being a baby!"

"Tobi's a good boy?"

"It's my turn!" Naruto yelled, jumping on stage.

The Akatsuki made room for him, hissing and spitting at him. Jiraiya jumped on stage to protect Naruto. The Akatsuki returned, minus Tobi, to their little, dark corner. They tossed Sasuke out on stage, who sat Indian style and glared at everyone in the back corner of the stage. Sakura and Ino jumped up screaming, "We love Sasuke!"

"Sit down girls!" Tsunade shouted at them, still tending to Tobi. "Get off stage, Naruto, Jiraiya. Naruto, you're a ballet girl with the Akatsuki. Jiraiya, you're an ensemble boy. Sasuke, sing or die. Your choice."

Itachi was laughing his head off as Sasuke stood up. Everyone, including Itachi, was breathless when Sasuke began singing.

"_Floating, falling,_

_sweet intoxication!_

_Touch me, trust me_

_savour each sensation!_

_Let the dream begin,_

_let your darker side give in"_ Sakura and Ino were crying in the background. Tsunade was sitting with her mouth open. Itachi was having a seizure. Akatsuki were ignoring Itachi and staring open mouthed at Sasuke.

"_to the power of the music that I write -_

_the power of the music of the night . . . _

_You alone can make my song take flight -_

_help me make the music of the night . ."_

Sasuke got off stage and sat in a different emo corner, black clouds of destruction surrounding him.

"Sasuke, you're Raoul. Deal with it," Tsunade said, after catching her breath. Sasuke growled under his breath. He glanced around the auditorium and caught the pale eyes of the Hyuga heiress. She gave him a small smile before looking at Tsunade, who was calling her name. Shyly, she made her way up onto stage.

"_Too many years fighting back tears . . ._

_Why can't the past just die . . .?_

_Wishing you were somehow here again . . ._

_knowing we must say goodbye . . ._

_Try to forgive . . ._

_teach me to live . . ._

_give me the strength to try . . ._

_No more memories, no more silent tears . . ._

_No more gazing across the wasted years . . ._

_Help me say_

_Goodbye"_

Everyone stared in utter amazement. Who would have ever thought that such a quiet girl could have such a great voice?

"Hinata, congratulations. You're the lead: Christine Daae," Tsunade said, wiping away tears. Sasuke had looked up from his emo corner. "All right, Temari, get up here."

She sang the same song as Hinata and was placed as Madame Giry. Kankuro was placed as Meg, because he had such a girlish voice and sang the same song as the girls, because he was confused. Gaara had told him to sing that song.

"Gaara, get up here now," Tsunade said, smiling evilly.

Gaara refused to go onstage unless his gourd accompanied him. Tsunade agreed reluctantly. "No massacres."

Gaara's song left everyone stunned. Gaara blushed slightly and sat down.

"Where'd you get such a great voice?" Temari asked, awestruck. She had accompanied Gaara on stage, to make sure he didn't kill anyone, but she hadn't moved.

"What do you think I was doing in my room for all that time? It only takes two minutes to sign the papers," Gaara said.

Temari blushed. "Well, um…yeah…"

"Temari, that would not be possible, seeing as there were no girls in my room."

"That wasn't what I was thinking…" Temari whispered. No one heard her, fortunately.

"Gaara, you're the Phantom," Tsunade said.

"Do I get to kill people?" Gaara asked innocently, with full puppy eyes.

"NO! Well, um, kinda…your character does," Tsunade said uselessly. An evil light entered Gaara's eyes. "Shikamaru, your turn…"

"Troublesome, troublesome," Shikamaru muttered as he walked up the stairs.

As Temari was going down, she stopped him. "Is 'troublesome' the only word you know?"

"Bothersome," Shikamaru said, checking her out.

"Are you checking me out?" Temari placed a hand on her hip.

"Yes, troublesome woman. Do you have a problem with it?"

"Let me ask you one question: are you good in bed?"

"How high do those fishnets go?"

"Would you like to find out?"

"Does that mean I don't get to kill him now?" Gaara interrupted.

"Oh, I come with baggage; I named them: Kankuro and Gaara."

"I can deal with them…"

"SHIKAMARU!!!!!!!! STOP FLIRTING AND START SINGING!!!!!!!!" Tsunade yelled.

"Bothersome, troublesome."

As Shikamaru was waiting for the music, Temari had taken her seat and called out, "I love the way you say 'troublesome!'"

Shikamaru blushed and started to sing. Tsunade gave him the role of Joseph Buquet. He had a very deep and manly voice, which was perfect. Temari was explaining something to Gaara, when Shikamaru sat down next to her. He caught the word 'kill.'

"What are you talking about?" Shikamaru asked.

"Oh! I was just explaining to Gaara how his character kills your character!" Temari said brightly. Shikamaru gulped.

"Neji Hyuga, get up here."

"I won't go up there without Tenten," Neji said.

Tenten stood up and said, "I won't let him go up there without me!"

Tsunade gave them a weird look as they walked up together. Gai and Lee were shouting something about youth.

They sang the boys song together.

"All right, Tenten and Neji you're Andre and Firmin. Tenten, your character, Andre, we're changing the name to 'Andrea' and making you a girl."

"What?! I wanted to be a boy!"

"Sorry. The majority of the people want to see you put on a dress." Everyone in the audience nodded. "Get off stage. Sakura, you're up."

Sakura was cast as Carlotta. The ninja ensemble boys included: Gai, Kakashi, and Tsunade, much to her own disappointment. Everyone remaining were stage hands.

"All right! Play practice begins tomorrow at five a.m.! Be here, on time! That includes you, Kakashi! Or I'll get the ANBU girls to get you. We have two weeks to learn our parts and be ready for the show!" Tsunade instructed. "Good night!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **As if I own anything!

**AN: **More randomness from my editor and I. We only got three hours of sleep last night because of Harry Potter 7. Sugar rush!!!!!!!!!

**EN: **I like sugar….

* * *

**Practice: Day 1**

Naruto ran to the theatre. He was only ten minutes late. Maybe Tsunade wouldn't kill him. Maybe. If he was lucky.

He ran on stage, where everyone except for Kakashi, Kurenai, Asuma, Tenten, Kiba, Akamaru, and Shino. Panicking, Naruto burst out into song.

"_We're all in this together _

_Once we know_

_That we are _

_We're all stars _

_And we see that_

_We're all in this together_

_And it shows_

_When we stand _

_Hand in hand_

_Make our dreams come true!" _

Everyone stared, dumbfounded at Naruto. Sakura was the first to react. Moving over to him, she punched him into the wall on the other side of the stage.

"Tch….wrong song, dobe," Sasuke said, running his hands through his hair.

Before Naruto could retort, Kakashi ran in. His face was covered in red lipstick and he was zipping up his fly. "Sorry I'm late. I was attacked by the ANBU!"

"Like we'll believe that!" Naruto and Sakura yelled.

"Actually, he's telling the truth. I set them after him," Tsunade said, smiling. "Ok, now Kiba, Shino, and Akamaru went to go find us breakfast—"

"I have enough super spicy curry rice for all us youthful actors and youthful actresses!" Gai said, pulling out of nowhere a huge wok of what everyone surmised was the super spicy curry rice. It was big enough to hold Lee.

"Hm….sounds good to me!" Naruto ran at the wok, but Neji got in the way. "Ow! Whatcha do that for?"

"I just saved your life. Tenten and I had to survive for four days and four nights on his cooking," Neji shivered as the words echoed through the theatre. Lee jumped out of the wok and yelled, "YOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke looked over and asked, "How is he still so clean?"

"The power of YOUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sasuke regretted asking the question at all.

"Ok! Tenten's late…..as usual…..we'll start. Gaara, Hinata on stage. Now! You're practicing 'Phantom of the Opera'. I wonder if you can sing that note, Hinata, without killing your voice—"

"Did someone say 'kill'?" all the Akatsuki asked, except for Tobi.

"Bad Akatsuki!" Tsunade yelled. "Temari, Sasuke, go to the back and practice your parts in 'Track Down this Murderer'—"

"Murderer?"

"Bad Akatsuki! Sit, STAY! Start singing!"

Gaara slumped up to the stage, followed timidly by Hinata. Sasuke was dragged to the back by Temari, who winked at Shikamaru.

Shikamaru asked, "After you're done practicing that scene, I'd really like to find out how high those fishnets go. In the prop room—"

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ino screamed running back on stage. "I just walked in on Asuma and Kurenai doing it!!!!!!!!!! In the prop room!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Tsunade developed a twitch in her left eye. "What were they doing in the prop room?"

"It…?" Ino asked, clueless as ever.

"ANKO!!!!!!!!! GO GET THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tsunade screamed, her face turning red.

"This is going to be fun," Anko said.

As she disappeared off stage, Kurenai's screams are heard. This alerted them that Anko had located them in the prop room. Asuma's voice was heard by all as he said, "If you wanted to join us, Anko, you could have asked. Threesomes are quite popular this season…"

"Wait for me!" Kakashi ran backstage. "Foursome!"

"I need research!" Jiraiya yelled, but was hit over the head by Tsunade.

"All right, Gaara, Hinata, Sasuke, Temari, you can start—"

"Dun, dun, dah, dun!" All head swiveled around to see Orochimaru standing in the doorway to the theatre.

He was wearing a superman costume. It looked exactly the same, except that it was missing the center 'S'. Instead, someone, Orochimaru perhaps, had taped a piece of paper bearing three 'M's on it.

"I am: Match Maker Man!" he yelled excitedly. "I am here to hook up young and impressionable people! With the help of the many, magic wardrobes! As we speak, three of our ballet girls are falling in love!"

_-Flashback-_

Orochimaru shoved Deidara and Hidan into a wardrobe, that magically appeared in the left wing.

"Orochimaru, un! We're, like, both guys, un!" Deidara yelled.

"Oh! Sorry! Hang on!" There was the sound of a struggle and then Itachi was thrust in.

"Um, we're all guys in here," Itachi said, straightening his robes.

"That's what you think! THREESOME!!!!!!!!" They heard the sounds of skipping feet.

"Well, this isn't fun…" Hidan murmured, being much more colorful in his word choice than the poor author has chosen to write.

"Um, I have a confession to make," Deidara whispered.

"Ok. What is it?" Itachi said, bored. "It had better not be that you're a woman or—" He stopped. They both saw the look on Deidara's face. "You're a woman? Guess I win the bet!"

Deidara smiled. "Yes! I'm so sorry!" He-She ripped off the robe and tore off the bandages binding her chest.

Hidan and Itachi stared at her chest, openmouthed. Finally, Itachi managed to stutter out. "Y-You're b-b-bigger than T-Tsunade!"

Hidan looked around. "As long as we're here……"

_-End of Flashback-_

"Orochimaru, I don't care!" Tsunade yelled. "Get off of my stage!"

"Can't I stay? Please?" he asked, drawing out the last word.

"Fine! Just don't shut the main characters into the closets! Hinata, Gaara, sing! Sasuke, Temari, sing!"

Hinata began singing softly as the music began.

"_In sleep he sang to me_

_In dreams he came_

_That voice which calls to me_

_And speaks my name_

_And do I dream again?_

_For now I find_

_The phantom of the opera is there,_

_Inside my mind"_

Gaara sang:

"_Sing once again with me_

_Our strange duet_

_My power over you_

_Grows stronger yet_

_And though you turn from me_

_to glance behind_

_The phantom of the opera is there_

_Inside your mind,"_

They went on like this, through their entire duet. It left most people in the audience breathless. Tsunade was exceptionally surprised when Hinata hit the high note.

"That was….that was…." Tsunade tried to say. "That was…..beautiful!"

Gaara and Hinata exchanged a small smile, of which Sasuke felt oddly jealous of. Tsunade told Hinata, Gaara, and Sasuke to go take a break. They sat backstage, when…..

Orochimaru grabbed them and tossed them into a nearby closet. He laughed manically as he said, "Haha! Threesome!"

The three blinked in the dark. Orochimaru was very weird.

After a few minutes, they broke out of the closet. Just in time for the masquerade scene. Tsunade was ordering everyone into position.

"Now, SING!!!!!!" Tsunade yelled.

"_Masquerade!_

_Paper faces on parade . . ._

_Masquerade!_

_Hide your face,_

_so the world will_

_never find you!_

_Masquerade!"_ The entire company sang and attempted to dance.

A cry of 'Youth!' was heard, but ignored.

The music stopped abruptly. Tenten had run in, her arm covered in blood.

"Ow! I cut my hand with a….." Tenten said as new sobs racked her body. "It was…."

Tsunade and Neji had run over to her. "What was it, Tennie?" Neji asked.

On stage, Naruto whispered to Sakura, "'Tennie'?"

"It was…A BUTTER KNIFE!!!!!" Tenten cried as new tears mixed in with the blood.

"Aw….Tennie, it's ok," Neji said as he stroked her hair.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow. A butter knife had defeated the weapons mistress of Konoha. Something was wrong with that picture. It was quite cute how Neji was comforting her, however. And the pet name was adorable.

-

Kiba, Shino, and Akamaru wandered into the stage about five hours after practice ended with a box of Dunkin' Donuts.

"We got the doughnuts," Kiba said weakly.

"We got lost," Shino said.

"Just a little!"

"Oh well….More doughnuts for us!"

Kiba and Shino walked out, trailed by Akamaru and turned right. As they split the doughnuts, they passed a Dunkin' Donuts. Right. Next. Door. To. The. Theatre.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I only own Match Maker Man!

**AN: **Sorry for not updating in a bit. My editor and I have been lazy and refused to write. So, I finally wrote it myself. Hope you like the chapter!

* * *

Practice: Day 2

The next day arrived. Tsunade decided to be smarter this time and had a roll call.

"Sasuke? Hinata? Gaara?"

Three voices replied, "Here."

Tsunade smiled and placed three huge checkmarks on her clipboard. She glanced at it and then through it into the air. "The rest of you don't matter."

"Hey!" Naruto yelled, jumping up and down. "I'm going to be the next Hokage!"

"Yeah, whatever," Tsunade replied. "Anyways, we are missing just Kakashi. Oh well. And……the Akatsuki. Hm…Tobi's here, but the rest are gone."

"Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi cried happily as he got hit on the head with the clipboard. He bounded back to his feet, smiling still.

Tsunade shrugged. "Whatever. Gaara, Sasuke, Kankuro, Hinata, get on stage and practice 'Track Down this Murderer'. Now."

Gaara's part went without at hitch. It was Kankuro singing the mob's part that everything got a little strange.

"_Track down these murderers! _

_They must be found!"_

The next few parts of the song went fine. It was went the mob's part came along again that everything went strange. And this time, Kiba, Shino, Sakura, Ino, Choji, and Naruto were also singing.

"_Track down these murderers -_

_They must be found!_

_Hunt out the traitors,_

_who are S-rank criminals!_

_Too long they've preyed on us -_

_but now we know:_

_the Akatsuki without their leader is here,_

_in Konoha..._

_They're here:_

_the AKATSUKI!" _

Before the song could continue, a huge pair of cymbals was smashed together. Everyone turned to see Orochimaru, excuse me, Match Maker Man, holding them. Behind stood all of the Akatsuki, all of them looking extremely guilty. Tsunade raised her eyebrows. Orochi—Match Maker Man bowed ungracefully and disappeared in a puff of smoke that left everyone coughing.

"Akatsuki (cough) what (cough) have you (cough) been (cough, cough) doing?" Tsunade asked.

"Well, (cough) it's not (cough) our fault!" Sasori retorted.

"Yeah, (cough) un (cough)!"

"Sasuke, (cough) Hinata, (cough) go to the (cough) prop (cough) room and (cough) get the (cough, cough) Phantom's (cough) mask for (cough, cough, cough) Gaara," Tsunade said. "I'll (cough) deal with (cough, cough) them."

"Why can't I get my mask?" Gaara asked, not coughing one bit. When everyone looked at him, he said, "Sand armor."

"Because, (cough) you're good (cough) at threats!" Tsunade replied.

"Ok."

Choking, Sasuke and Hinata got backstage. Finally, there was breathable air. After enjoying the pleasure of being able to breathe, they went to the prop room and opened the closed door. A woman screamed and a man asked, "What do you two want? I'm not doing a foursome with some underage kids."

"We're here for the mask," Sasuke said, bored. Hinata's face was turning every color of red.

Asuma sighed and threw the Phantom's mask at them. Sasuke caught it and closed the door. Out of the side of his mouth, Sasuke told Hinata not to mention what they just walked in on. Hinata nodded faintly, trying to erase the image from her mind.

When Sasuke and Hinata arrived back on stage, the Akatsuki, and all the adults had disappeared. In the center of the stage, Temari and Shikamaru stood, arguing. Sasuke tossed the mask to Gaara, who caught it. He stared at it a long time before Naruto ripped it from his hands and put it on him. Hinata suppressed a giggle as Gaara looked at her from across stage.

"Well, you're just lazy!" Temari half-shouted.

"You're just troublesome," Shikamaru retorted.

Temari glared at him after calling him some colorful names.

Ino shouted, "Hey! You can't talk to Shika-kun like that!"

"She can if she wants to, Ino," Shikamaru said tiredly.

"Defending me?" Temari sounded amused. "Well, you're going to have to pay for that!"

Quick as lightning, Temari ran to Shikamaru, grabbed something and ran just out of arms' reach. Shikamaru stared at her. "What did you do, you troublesome woman?"

Temari smiled sweetly and help up a hair tie. Shikamaru's hair down. His face flushed.

"Give me that back!"

"Come and take it from me," Temari told Shikamaru coyly.

Shikamaru took the bait and went over to her. Roughly, he kissed her. After a long time, he pulled away. Temari stared at him in wonder as she touched her lips lightly.

"That was…unexpected…hey! You took the hair tie!" Shikamaru grinned and held it up. Quickly, he tied his hair back up.

Temari grabbed his collar and pulled him very close. "You might want to leave your hair down. I'll be pulling it out anyways. Still interested in see how high these fishnets go?"

"You bet," Shikamaru said breathlessly.

Before anything could happen, the adults and the Akatsuki reappeared. In a loud voice, Tsunade said, "Everyone! Costumes are here! The…Akatsuki made them. For us. And they're not lethal in anyway. I know, hard to believe. Let's go to fittings! Now!"

-

Two hours later, both dressing rooms were a mess. The Akatsuki were in a dark corner, sulking. Tsunade had forced them into their ballet girl costumes. The pictures would be handed around for years, all seeing them laughing like lunatics. It became a syndrome known as 'OMFG! The big bad Akatsuki are wearing tutus! And they're pink!'.

Tenten was sitting in a different corner, upset because her costume was all pink and fluffy. When Sakura passed her a cranberry juice sippy, Tenten got an idea. Smiling, Tenten pulled out a kunai from…between two parts of her torso that only girls have. She stabbed the sippy and poured all the juice on the pink dress.

Arranging her face into a look of distress, Tenten ran into the boys' dressing room where Tsunade was and screamed, "MY DRESS IS RUINED! WAH!!!!!"

Everyone stared at her. Neji walked over and placed an arm around her waist and took her hand in his. As he did, he said, "Come with me, Tenten. Maybe…I can kaiten it out! Yeah, that's what I'll do!"

As Shizune observed the pair leaving, she said, "They're not going to get that stain out, are they?"

Hidan answered, "No way in hell."

Few minutes later, Tenten came bounding into the dressing room, smiling. She was still wearing a dress, but this one was green and extremely loose and airy. Dancing around the room, she said joyfully, "Neji fixed it!"

"How?" was the general question.

"Neji-kun's a seamstress!" Neji walked into the room and blushed. He attempted to leave the room. Tenten came bounding over to him and kissed him on the lips. She pulled away, smiling. Neji smiled and grabbed her hand, pulling her off, somewhere.

"You know what the color green hides, right?" Kankuro said.

Everyone in the room shook their head. Kankuro sighed. "Green hides grass stains. Think about it."

There was a collective, "Oh!" from everyone. Except for Naruto, who shouted, "What does that mean?"

Ebisu hit him over the head with a nearby prop chair.

((For those of you who don't get it, prostitutes in the middle ages wore green.))

-

Gaara, Hinata, and Sasuke were walking down one of the wings to the stage. Suddenly, a strange figure appeared in front of them. As the figure came closer, they realized that it was Orochi-Match Maker Man.

"What do you want?" Sasuke asked nonchalantly.

"Well, I want you, Sasuke, but—"

"Pedophile," Sasuke said. Orochimaru bowed.

"But, that is not what I am here for right now," Orochimaru said. He clapped his hands and something very heavy landed behind him. As the dust settled, the three realized that it was a wardrobe. They exchanged glances with each other.

Before they had a chance to blink, they were all locked in the wardrobe. Orochi-Match Maker Man was laughing outside. His shout of 'Threesome' echoed through the empty hallway, along with his retreating footsteps.

"So, how are we getting out of here?" Sasuke asked, arms crossed over his chest.

"Let me handle it," Gaara said.

Hand symbols were formed and sand rushed out of the gourd on Gaara's back. Hinata gasped quietly and moved backwards, away from Gaara and the sand. Without realizing it, she backed straight into Sasuke. She jumped and started to fall forward. Sighing, Sasuke placed an arm around her waist and pulled her up. The back of her head rested on his chest. Hinata could hear every heartbeat.

The wardrobe fell to pieces around the three, but not one piece touched them. Sasuke released Hinata and examined it. He looked at Gaara and nodded. Gaara and Sasuke started back down the hall as if nothing had happened. Hinata smiled at their backs for a moment before running to catch up with the taller boys.

Practice ended, having very few productive things actually happen. But, Tsunade was very pleased anyways. Well, who knew what had been going on out in pit band area? Tsunade and a few other gentlemen had disappeared for a few moments…

Three hours after everyone had left, Kakashi walked into the theatre, reading a book. He looked a little worse for the wear. He looked up and said, "Sorry I'm late…Oh well."

* * *

**AN: **Blame the grape juice! And the turkey! Review if you still have function of your brain! 


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